Dancing Among the Stars

 

“There has not ever been a time when I have been lacking the material for a post. For the threads of humankind , always find their way of weaving into my soul, their beautiful purpose.” ~ TL Alton

In all of my posts, I always feel my daughter’s birthday, the one where I take the time, to sort through quotes, pictures and memories connected to the day Shayla was born. For this special day, when she arrived into the world, saw precious moments unfold… over the next 21 years of her life.

While everyday I miss her, the day Shayla Rae Dawn, came into this world at 10 pounds, 10 ounces and 2 feet long, the heavens parted and she was blessed with many things, I am sharing here.

The top image of Shayla, on my 2^nd wedding day. She was such a beautiful Flower girl. 

When I think back, I close my eyes and re-imagine it was her wedding day- to her one true love - long before 2011.

Shayla’s namesake was something that connected her to the world of the Fairies~  the Irish Gaelic version means  “fairy palace.”

One of her favourite places to go to, was at a park that had a Fairy forest. Many times we went there, whenever she came to visit.

Shayla also had a wonderful sense of humour. Whenever something made her laugh, her face grew rosy, and a deep laughter grew from the tip of her toes. If she posed, it was likely to be some funny expression or doing something that would make others burst into laughter.

Wearing funny nose glasses at a bus stop, a bus pulled up and the driver was in stitches over Shayla's 'disguise.'

At a Nature Park, Shayla got stuck in the turtle shell. 

I have recalled and written about a note I found, after she passed away.

It was in reference to a dessert that I would make annually for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I always assumed Shayla loved it, as she would often ask for seconds.

In discovering her note, I realized the reality as she had written:

Mom, remember that Bisquick pumpkin pie dessert you made us for the holidays…well, I would go in the backyard and bury the second helpings and I burned the recipe card so you wouldn’t make it again…so Nah, I didn’t like it, but didn’t want to hurt your feelings. 😊

The other passion in my daughter’s life…was dance!

Shayla spent seven years immersed in the world of dance and between her laughter and silliness, the girl was born to dance!

It brought me much joy when she would have her performances and I was able to see how she lit up the dance, with hip-hop, lyrical, jazz and even ballet.

While I have many DVD’s of her past recitals, I no longer have the means to play them and right now, I would love to see my daughter ‘in motion.’

February 24^th, would have been Shayla’s 32^nd birthday.

I miss seeing her blow out her candles, open her gifts and turn to me with the biggest smile .

While I was gathering things for this post, I was reminded of “Pink Shirt Day.” The annual awareness for showing support of those who have been bullied. Sadly, Shayla spent most of her years at the torment of those who caused her to devote an entire black covered journal. Reading her words of heartache, sorrow and anguish, I have a better, more painful understanding of what she endured…and still smiled.

Pink Shirt Day 2022 

The other day, I found a display in a store that also reminded me of my ‘pinky promise’ to my dearly missed daughter- the one linked to my novel.

I painted my own nails and thought about the perfect timing.

This past week, I read of another person’s passing, whose music, smile and lovely persona, was an inspiration to the world.

Her name was Jane Marczewski. She was a free-spirit, a talented singer and a beautiful soul who died at 31, from breast cancer.

Nightbirde

Gracing the stage of America’s Got Talent, people’s lives were deeply touched by her heartfelt journey, as she battled her cancer while still writing and preforming songs, with the name Nightbirde.

Her spiritual relationship, was something I also connected with.

Source: Instagram

Nightbirde wasn’t afraid to speak her mind and she had such a magnificent shine that saw her glow.

In sharing the song she penned, “It’s Okay,” I feel as if she had met my heart full of love.

Golden Buzzer: Nightbirde's Original Song Makes Simon Cowell Emotional - America's Got Talent 2021

https://youtu.be/CZJvBfoHDk0

 Tomorrow, I have special plans. Turns out the temporary shelter I am at, is having their annual inspection. I need to be gone from 10am- 5pm. I have thought about where it is I will go or what I should do?

Then some place which holds special memories. While its not a place of fairies ( I don’t think so), it has wonderful qualities of another place, where (Tonya) mother and daughter,(Shayla) use to stroll.  

Every year, since Shayla passed, I have still bought a birthday card- one that I would have given her. I fill it with my personal sentiments, then place it at amazing locations throughout our world. 

A kind of release that helps a little... on a rather emotional day. 

This February 24th will be no different. 

Although it will be a quiet day- without the celebration of 32 years- I can look back and treasure what we were able to share… in such a short amount of time.

I think back to years ago when I was in Maui. I was brought to the perfect location, in the Pacific ocean, to spread my daughter’s ashes.

Tomorrow, I will reconnect with another special spot, where memories have been made.

The one where I told my daughter, she would always have my heart as her mother. As I kneel by the water’s edge, I will close my eyes. Once again, I will imagine Nightbirde’s angelic voice singing It’s Okay, while Shayla’s performing, a lyrical dance and I will think of those within our family , who have passed away- aunties, uncles, mothers and fathers, grandparents, friends and also my nephew, Matthew.

Everyone will be shining their beautiful smiles, as Matt's stardust, along with theirs, is cast across the heavens…for ALL to see them dancing ... among the stars. 

 

By TL Alton  

BREAKTHROUGH IN A BOX

 

Often when something is broken, we will spend much time in navigating our pain through means that are only numbing the agony- instead of realizing the answer to all the madness- is really within our reach. ~ TL Alton

Ever since the day my daughter’s life ended on December 12^th, 2011, I have been a spider caught in a web of deceit, heartache and displacement.

I have kept secret certain circumstances regarding the death of Shayla private and will continue to keep some information confidential, in hopes one day the whole truth will finally come out, about what really happened. I have been fortunate that over time, an Investigator has gathered information, which can prove my daughter’s crash, was no accident.

I believe, it will only be a matter of time before those responsible, will be held accountable- for their roles, which to the tragic death of my child.

My blog post isn’t entirely about this, in fact…my entry is about something that finally broke within me, a revelation so eye-opening…. I now better understand why I am writing this from a place of displacement- again.

In sharing the following, I would like to mention those also struggling prior to the holidays. Those whose homes were flooded and ravaged by the waters, who lost their home and whose lives have forever changed!

I want to say Thank you to the farmers I have spoke with. Through their tears,  they have shared about their farmlands and futures that are unknown. My heart goes out to those whose farm animals perished, whose structures collapsed and were washed away by the storms. Their livelihoods have been altered and they need our support!

Mental health is escalating and to those front line workers like Natasha at Save-On Foods in Capilano, I thank you! I was witness to your compassionate and beautiful, caring heart, to those in need!

Our province, our Country and our world is in crisis, and I have prayed for all of those affected, wishing I could do more!

In connection to release of matters of my heart, which go back ten years, I know this: It is not going to change the fact that my daughter is gone.

What I hope in my post, is for people to not judge me, for what they think they know about my journey. I would rather have people see there is far more to the circumstances and sad story of a young girl, trapped and submerged in her vehicle on December 12^th, 2011.

That due to a several conversations prior to her passing, my daughter provided the answers that many have no idea about. Her words have haunted me for the past ten years and I want others that are ‘responsible’ for what transpired, to know, I have never let go of the real truth.

The whole reality of the matter is this...Shayla called me on Dec 9th from Kamloops (where she lived and was in her third year of attending Thompson Rivers University) to say she was driving to Kelowna /McKinley area, to see a new baby that was born.

The devastating part for me- is Shayla was supposed to go on reading break- on a Greyhound bus and travel to Kelowna...but she couldn't wait! 

At first, I told her no way in hell are you driving the winter roads! She laughed and I will never forget her response...

“Momma, one day you will have to learn to let me go!"

 As I type these words out, it is crushing on my heart!

 I asked if she had cleaned out her car as being a University Student, she always carried around her books, etc. She said this:

"Oh momma, I just packed for the weekend....I only have a box of stuff for the Thrift Store that was put in the back and I'm running out of time, so I will drop it off in Kelowna."

As I type this, I am so upset that I never questioned if that deadly box was taped shut, closed up, or asked her to put it in her trunk instead!!

I want to just scream back my words: No babygirl, check the box...Please...

Here's some background info...after my daughter died, ‘friends’ of hers had someone they know dive into the Reservoir and retrieve Shayla’s personal belongings. The Police had no idea, they were never contacted and nor was I, until after the fact. Shayla’s cell phone was never found, yet would mysteriously re-appear, back in Kamloops- after her death.

A North American Engineer, was hired and gave a detailed report of what happened on the day Shayla’s car ended up submerged in the frozen waters of McKinley Reservoir. The report I have, states the untapped, unclosed box of goods for the Thrift Store, came open as Shayla drove into a deep hairpin corner. The contents opened up and spilled forward under her seat and something rolled under the break, preventing my daughter, from being able to step on the break pedal. Her speed accelerated and  Shayla lost control of her car! The report shows, in a panic and out of sheer desperation, she tried to correct the cars alignment, yet it was too late!

I also have a more details and an Investigators report that Shayla’s car crash and death were preventable. The other contents of this report is being kept private and sealed, until charges in the matter can be laid.

There also is an eerie and disturbing fact that $25,000 Life Insurance Policy was taken out on my daughter( not by me)….and it was cashed in, right after her death! It was also kept hidden from me, until it was discovered that a said individual did their best to deny it’s existence, until the truth was revealed. Prior to her death, Shayla had me as her mother, a beneficiary on her University Life Insurance Policy. I was removed- without knowledge- until I spoke with Shayla, and she confided in me, she had been convinced to switch over her Policy to someone in her life. I never thought anything about it, as she was only 21 and it did not matter to me, as she had made a young adult decision. I also was told her car had been privately worked- only days before her trip- by the said person who collected her Life Insurance.

 In my opinion, these actions all add up to negligence and I will leave it at that.

There are also many inconsistences about her travels, the purpose and the outcome.

Consequently, my post is to raise awareness and my belief to this day, something more nefarious happened to my daughter and there was a butterfly effect that occurred with me, due to Shayla’s ‘car crash.’

 Seven years after my daughter had died, I tried my best to carry on. Yet the burden I have felt, over the box that was placed in Shayla’s car, the life insurance and her vehicle worked on- only days before her road trip- have shattered my life!

 Later, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the damage to my mental health, has been extensive.

In the past five years, I have been displaced three times. Living out of my car, with serious health issues. Last summer, I had a stroke and aneurysm. This year, I had the hole in my heart repaired and two weeks ago, I was rushed to the hospital, believed to have had another TIA.

 While the two previous displacements, were due to a combination of serious work injuries/loss of job and benefits ending, there is more to what meets the eye.

 As I type this, I have just moved out from my last, recent suite.

After losing my job last year as a Labourer due to COVID, I have never recovered in re-establishing myself.

 This autumn, when my benefits ended, I found myself speaking with my Landlords and it resulted in me giving my notice. One of them had suffered a serious injury, after a fall and  due to my lack of rent, it was causing them issues.

I spent 5 hours cleaning my suite, packing up mine and my daughter’s things and moving back into my mini car. I made several trips to drop off donations to the Burnaby HOSPICE Thrift store and I found a young man in need to give my bottles and cans too.

 Yet I need to address ‘the box’ that was placed in Shayla’s car, as it is a missing puzzle piece.

This week, the night before I was to leave my suite, I took a much needed break from sorting and packing. Sitting down, I stared at the mound of boxes, donations to be given and abruptly burst into tears! I was looking at one box in particular, which had clothing and items jutting out. I had not closed it up, nor had I taped it. 

Abruptly, my PSTD was heavily triggered, and I fell to the floor, in tears.

 The answer to all three of my displacements, was sitting right in front of me!

The truth is, I have been awash with guilt and shame over the box that Shayla had travelled with! I had spoken to my daughter, several times and never had it occurred to me that I had transferred over to myself, the blame of that day! 

I have had recurring nightmares, where Shayla is screaming at me in the darkness of the frozen waters, to come ‘save her!’

I have carried the burdens that when she first called me in Kamloops, about the Life Insurance, I should have questioned her more!

I blame myself that when she called me about to depart on the road, I didn’t ask about the box!

I feel the guilt when I learned her car had been worked on- specifically her four tires- that I didn’t ask her more! Likewise, I am wracked with heartache that I couldn’t stop her from leaving… and I have lived with such shame- knowing, had any of these circumstances were to have changed, Shayla would still be alive!

 Looking back at the box I had set aside for donation, before this time of displacement, it represents my burdens. So when I feel overwhelmed by a new place to settle in (after living in my car), it is like I crave the darkness, the pain and punishment of displacement, as a release of all of what is built up inside of me!

I know for a period of time this year; I also went to a whole new level of darkness in seeking someone from my past. I pushed more and more, in our phone conversations, seeking to be in a realm of obscurity that feels like ‘home’ to me.

 Also, I oppressive feeling that I failed my daughter- sees me unsettled within. So much that when I find a new place to live, I do not think I am worthy of happiness or stability.

 I have been broken inside for a long period of time…as I mentioned to someone…

its as if darkness takes an elevator ride through my soul and departs on the main floor.

 I thought I had done a great release of ‘letting go’, until someone recently mentioned these words to me and I went on the defense! For me to let go...is to give up on me still fighting for the truth of what really took place.

 I also would ask anyone who thinks its time to let go… come this Christmas, as everyone is gathered at the table, presents have been opened and loved ones gathered round… look at one of your own children and ask yourself…if this happened to one of them, could you simply just ‘let it go?’

 For me, I now see a direct link between my daughter’s tragic car crash and the ripples of displacement in my life.

I have been carrying the guilt of others, the brokenness of making myself abandoned and punishing myself with the discord- I feel I deserve, to keep putting myself through!

 I now have a ‘reason’ for the madness/darkness of that tragic day. Also, a need to be freed off of the spider’s web, I’ve spent years trapped on.

 I am thankful for the block that God removed for me, in order to embrace healing and move forward. As a protective mother, I feel not only me, but others, let Shayla down. However, I can only speak for myself and what I know to be true.

 I am a writer and researcher. I believe in the facts, and I have faith that someday, the raw truth of what happened to my daughter, will be revealed.

 I am deeply grateful to those friends who have stood by me, the family that has reached out to help and to those who I understand… decided to jump off the train of chaos - that is my life.

 In times of crisis, people want to come together and help in anyway they can...

 One thing I do know, as a dear friend put it…

“Shayla wouldn’t want you to continue to carry this weight!”

So a major shift has occurred and instead of the burden of blame, I am striving to survive- daily!

The one constant companion of mine has been my book, Under the Sitka Tree. Over a week ago, I had a breakdown in tears, as I struggled what to do with the future of my novel? Would Shayla want me to keep tight control over Sitka or would she want me to let it go?

After many prayers, I signed a contract with Oldale Publishing that ensures its future and further release. This doesn’t get me out of living in my car, but all of Leon Oldale’s hard work and dedication, have secured further release of my book on Amazon and Kindle!

I have good reason to mention UTST, as it’s a source of income for me, when it sells.

I have been blessed by those who have purchased the paperback versions of my novel; family, friends and strangers who have shared in the beautiful promise to my late babygirl...Thank you from my heart to yours...💝

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B09MW4L3FL

The time being, I have a lot to reconcile within myself and stop being stuck on December 12^th, 2011.

A large part of me, will never abandon the need for the truth, to finally come out about Shayla's untimely death. 

 I will also continue to reach out to others displaced. As I meet individuals- I am finding immigrants, people of various ethnic backgrounds/ beliefs and those truly homeless. Interwoven in all of them, I see a common thread.

 Those who are striving to find the means- that they are worthy- to be a part of this uncertain world!

 THE DEFINITION OF INSANE IS TO TREAT ANOTHER PERSON’S VALUE AS WORTHLESS!

In that, I find similarities- a place not of isolation but of connection- where everyone... has stories of heartbreak to share. 💔💦

 By TL Alton

TEN YEARS Later ~ Shayla Rae Dawn

Wreath Left where Shayla died in the Reservoir December 12th, 2011

When on December 12^th, 2011, my only child- my daughter’s life was submerged below the ice-filled reservoir,   I had to navigate my grief journey and do it on my own terms that has seen me still breathe in this world.

In the folds of bereavement, is the old cliché….Time heals everything. I can assure you, ten years into my grief, I don’t much like time, in that I feel the hurt on a deeper level…more than anything. I count ten years without my daughter, ten lonely Christmas’s without her, 10 birthdays comes and gone. After she died tragically in a car crash, I also had to let go of her many caring friends, for my heart could not handle weddings taking place, babies being born, and lives carrying on, while my babygirl became ashes to the wind.

I grew bitter, and full of remorse, guilt that I could never prevent her from driving solo to McKinley Landing- where a baby born into the family- Shayla could not wait to see! I became obsessed with the road and ensuring safety measures were in place- so this absolutely horrible accident, would never happen again! I barged into safety meetings, demanded to be heard and even had a rock memorial placed where Shayla had died in the frozen McKinley reservoir!

They say that times a healer…just how long is this burn suppose to last? ~ The Mortal Instruments

Every December 12^th, I travelled to the area, on my knees I would fall and smash my frail hands against the earth where my daughters lifeless body remained trapped! While I was entrenched in gripping grief, never once did I dare to blame the one thing that remained solid in my life…God. From the very first day of standing over a hole in the ice- the watery grave of my daughter- I was torn inside. There was no room to hold responsible what was human error, after all I took solace in knowing Shayla went home to be with the Lord on December 12^th, 2011. I remembered when she began to first drive, and I gifted her the same wooden cross I had dangling in my vehicle. The cross would have been the last thing her eyes saw, before her car smashed down and careened into the murky, cold waters.

Looking back, I was a soul torn into two- a mother whose child was suddenly and cruelly- ripped away.

It was as if our intertwined spirits, did not know how to accept the abrupt loss and our hearts that beat as one…still had much catching up to do in acceptance.

For Shayla Is my Pārbati

Bound together for life… to fight together and protect each other through life.

IN BATTLE…OUR HEARTS BEAT AS ONE. IF one of us were to die…a part of the other would die inside as well. ~ The Mortal Instruments

Next to the Sanskrit word Vilomah- a word that refers to a parent whose child has died, I could not think of a better word or explanation of the bond that happens between a mother and her baby.

Throughout the 21 short years together, Shayla and I had faced many battles. Some on her own- as in the cruel world of bullying that my daughter battled and in the ever evolving world of mental health. We faced together the harsh realities of those stricken by poverty and addiction crisis, along with the stigma of my own illness.

On the beautiful occasion I was able to see my daughter take a stand for others, it was as if God had allowed me to see His mercy shine upon others. His purpose was her purpose, and her intent was for me to see her strength and embrace her own weaknesses.

When I was nominated for the Courage to Come Back Award, then also one of the many faces of Mental Illness, Shayla proudly shared with a sense of joy! One that is rarely seen with someone who they themselves are struggling for identity.

After her sudden passing, I went on to become a leader for GriefShare- a faith based support group I taught for six months. That only came after two years of counselling and receiving support myself.

Yet if I can offer any insight in ten years of grieving…is this: Emotions are never black and white- neither is light and darkness. While I never succumbed to the atypical source of addictions in alcohol and drugs, I found their was comfort in self-inflicting pain….and no, not in self-harming such as cutting, I found a release in to the darkness connected to my past. One that sees me on a merry go round, where the shadows call my name. In the past ten years- I have been ‘displaced’ without a home three times. I can save the therapy and say, it is because I feel that I am UNLOVED.

With my daughter, we were twins in the sense that joy was shared in a multitude of ways and pain was etched upon our hearts. Both of us suffered from depression and high anxiety. We both, were Survivors of assaults and both of us had been heavily bullied. In times of strife, we turned to one another. We shared the same smile, the same laughter…the same creases in our eyes when our faces were alight with happiness.

The day Shayla died…her car had entered the waters of the reservoir, and the time her last breathe was took…I felt an urgency to check on-line, only to discover they were retrieving her crushed in vehicle, with my daughter passed away- in it. Later, the autopsy report confirmed when she died…my heart knew it!

From there on….I had a choice…seek the light or pursue the darkness.

Many thought, I never would survive her death. I believe they had good reason given the strong bond we had shared, now had been severed.

One of the first things done…was a short hike to an area, overlooking McKinley Landing. Here, a memorial rock cairn was built by my former spouse Paul Padgett. Whatever transpired between he and I, I won’t take away the kindness and love he had for my daughter. I believe my own hurt clouded this and over time, I felt I needed to remove his pain from the two of us. However, he built this memorial right after Shayla passed away and I am including it in the 10 year tribute, as it was the first thing done out of heartache and sorrow.

I also had other important things to focus on…aligning with those whose purpose was to bring safety changed to McKinley Landing Road. Endless road trips, Council held meetings, engineers were commissioned, until finally only months later, nearly a half-million dollars was awarded for those positive changes to occur.

The safety changes to McKinley Road 

Finally, I relented, and the memorial stone was removed. It was heartbreaking as her mother, when I felt the need to constantly share the real truth of that day and what happened. Finally, I gave up on that too, knowing it was pointless. Further down at Dewdney Access #1, due to the donations of Melcor Corporation and The Residents of McKinley Landing, a Memorial Bench was installed, in between two Ponderosa Pines (fitting as they are trees of remembrance). Also, Shayla use to swim down in Okanagan Lake. A balloon release and a few words later, with photos taken of residents Brad and Shane and a bench dedication given…the Memorial bench has been a place for all to come and remember Shayla.

Months later, a phenomenal two-sided remembrance quilt was created by a mother and sister, who Shayla was close to. It was her former boyfriend’s mother who tenderly stitched this together and presented it to me. The front cover of my novel (UTST) has my daughter’s words on it:

“It’s okay to fight…as long as your fighting for someone…or something.”

To honour her Rockhounding, I created The Heart Pebble Movement ~ a cause that saw in over a four year period, between 300- 400 rocks, gemstones and pebbles, be placed all over the world- in Shayla’s memory. 

Shayla's treasured Rose Quartz heart I released back to the ocean, after The Heart Pebble Movement was complete 

In my ten years of blogging, I have written about the endless releases done in locations such as Hawaii, Jamaica, Machu Picchu, various location in England, including Stonehenge and many more! Again, this cause brought me comfort and kept me busy.

Friends and strangers have also done beach tributes, nature tributes out of leaves and flowers, then sent me photographs. I simply cannot include everyone, as my posts are already lengthy.

I’ve shared on her Birthday and on her ‘death day’, how I have brighten the lives of those in need, by gifting treats and sandwiches, coffees all in her memory, as that is what Shayla would want.

When it came time to release her ashes, I travelled to Maui and was joined in love by the locals, who also honoured my daughter's life, with their presence and tears. 

Over the ocean, as I sat on the beaches of Maui, deep in sorrow and after the release of Shayla's ashes, there appeared a brilliant display of transformation...

The last thing I promised my daughter, was the ‘pinky promise’ of the book I wrote. Shayla always understood the purpose of ‘Under the Sitka Tree.’ She knew I was not looking to reap fame or fortune, rather to share my soul journey of survivorship, love found and lost, redemption and forgiveness….most of all….of release.

Last week, I kneeled in prayers and sought what to do to keep ‘Sitka’ going? In what felt like a piece of my heart was broken off…I made the decision to sign a Publishing Contract and place my trust with my formatter, Leon Oldale. This resulted in me having an emotional struggle with truly releasing. For the connection to Shayla runs deep and the book has always held a strong connection between her and I.  

I have kept my promise to my babygirl as I know its what she would want me to do. Part of her life was growing up watching me write and if she were here today, I know she would be sad over the sorrow that threatens to engulf me…My daughter would say: Momma, one day…somebody’s going to love your kind heart and warm soul…

In all of these things, over the past ten years, there has still been a spark that lights up around her memory. For me, it felt like I was completely letting go and it brought me back to the day I stood at the reservoir, to say goodbye.

In reflecting, I feel as if feel I was merely surviving off of her beautiful spark of light and now everything has come full circle. That before me is a place that has only been patiently awaiting me.

YOU DON’T GET TO CHOSE…The light and the dark are both part of you. Whether you like it or not.

I have been very raw and honest about the life I have lived…several times now I have lived out of my small car. Maybe there lays the answer within itself…that without Shayla, I feel there is no real home on this earth.

You cannot run away from grief…it trails you like a violent shadow…Louise Wain’s wife Emily

So maybe that is it…in my weakened and weary state, I’ve finally run out of things to do in her memory and all that awaits is a colossal wave of grief and loss...yet to come.

 …the artist lived a troubled life where often, after momentary happiness, an everlasting catastrophe awaited... Louis Wain was an outcast, a renegade, lonely, frightened yet brave, and resilient. By Sushrut Gopesh

(Shayla) wanted me to keep my promise to finish my book and never stop writing, then I would never feel as if I were alone…when I write I connect with the world…I give them pieces of who I am…in return, they are also relating to me. The spark I feel for Shayla…now that remains a mother’s unconditional love.

By TL Alton 

Mother & Daughter 

VIDEO DEDICATION to Shayla Rae Dawn xox

Freya Ridings - Lost Without You (Official Video) https://youtu.be/tDPpex1wvOc