Under the Sitka Tree~ Seeker of the Light

 

                                    My Inspiration for my book and A Promise to Keep 

I have spent my day creating a new website for my finished manuscript, that has been sent to a source, I can entrust my novel with. 

In creating my new website, there were decisions made as to whether I wanted to pull information or add to it. 

Yet, I wanted to share why I've, after all these years, I've simply not given up on the publication of my book. In between my daughter Shayla and my first novel, they were the closest companions, my whole world and what I loved on various levels. Of course Shayla, the girl with the golden heart, knew that for me...the sun shone upon her and through her. She was not perfect, but that suited me fine, as neither am I. Yet one thing she saw me work on daily, was my novel, Under the Sitka Tree. 

Today, after labouring for hours on creation of a new site, I went through some stumbles and many deletes, addition of images and paring of information. Yet, I would not give up. 

To some, they may see it as wasted time or what is the purpose...but in this world, it is what I have left connected to my daughter, who believed in me as her mother and a writer 💕

Through the two decades that Sitka has weathered- through storms and a trail of broken hearts- a mother's grief, I have not given up on the one beautiful connection where my late daughter's joy and love remain. 

For it is when we give up pursuing the one thing that is our passion, we give up shining our light within. 

I have kept all of the wonderful, kind words of others, and transferred them unto this new site on Weebly. I thank each of you for all of the connections, over the years. 

I now have a a possible publishing source and will not ever give up, even though it was easier to do so. However, the day I am able to hold my book in my hand, is the day I will have finally have kept my Promise to my beloved babygirl. 

Please feel free to check out my new website at: www.tlaltondesign.com

In my previous post, I shared Shayla's last journal entry- written only days before she passed away. 

If anyone questions my meaning, you only have to read her words to understand, she believed in the light, within all of us. 

By TL Alton

The Passage of Forgiveness

My daughter Shayla's last journal entry- only days before she died. 

No one can understand the magnitude of these words, her words...my daughter's words. These were taken from the very last journal entry she wrote, only  days before she was killed in a horrible car wreck. Over the years, you'd find me hard pressed to refer to her death as an "accident." For itng was never an accident that she perished on December 12th, 2011 at the age of 21. 

Since her sudden passing, it has come to light as to what caused her car to careen off the road and into a reserveriour. However, ask anyone whose had a child die and they would say, Not even the truth will ease their pain and certainly does not bring, your beloved child back. 

In the 10 years since Shayla has been gone, I have had to make peace with the past- the reasons- and allow myself to find a place where I can shut out the heartache. Over time, I have had to learn about patience and forgiveness, on various at the onset.  

Through reading her 29 journals, Shayla believed her life would be short and taken at the hands of someone she loved. As her mother, I've longed let go of my wanting retribution, as it won't bring my daughter back. 

I am resolved that while her life was taken in the most horrific way- there were major plans made to a treacherous road, that held a terrible past. 

I found comfort in knowing, the long overdue changes for the dangerous stretch of road- which saw her vehicle plunge into the frozen reservoir- were finally completed, the following year. 

It was bittersweet, as it was too late for my daughter- but it would surely save others. 

Shayla had a quote that is embroidered into the Memory quilt I have- the one that displays her countless pictures and her baby clothes, sewn into it...

"Its Okay to fight~ As long as you're fighting for someone or Something." 

It's really quite simple...How I STILL feel a close bond with my daughter, simply because she left me a paper trail of words that she wanted me to follow. The injustice I once felt, has brought me back to the very words that Shayla left for me to live by ~ "Somethings we would give anything to forget..." 

For along this painful journey, in order to be at peace and offer forgiveness, I add...

Living in the past, is not something my daughter would want for me. While I didn't find it easy to let go of all of the pain and misery that shattered my heart on December 12th 2011, I have learned there is no punishment that would suffice in me ever seeing my babygirl return again. 

I have long struggled with that fateful day, the last text message I sent her filled with love and caution on the road she was soon to embark on and be taken from this world. 

If Shayla could speak to me from the Heaven's, her words would be simple...

"Forgive yourself momma, for not being able to stop me driving that day." 

The very word that is on her memorial blanket, is the one I find comfort in when I feel the darkness overwhelm me....the word that was on her ankle and below Shayla's nautical star tattoo, is something my prayers are still filled with..."HOPE." 

By TL Alton 

 

The Next Chapter of Extraordinary

Dearest Readers,

With all that is happening in our world, the following is meant as a source of information regarding my book (  that remains unpublished). Given the content of Under the Sitka Tree, of slavery, internment and also Residential schools, I have held my manuscript close to my heart.

For I have always felt that this is their story…the one that has seen me be a voice for those who are no longer with us. They yearn to have their journeys- their roots untethered and pages read. 

Over the span of twenty-years, I have carried with me the secrets of my characters Evamya, Abimbola, Eishi Hara and Makwa. They are ingrained in my DNA and embody the many aspects of who I am. 

This past month, saw more edits/revisions to the storyline. 

For I believe the timing of my novel, reflects the truth of our Canadian roots.

As a Christian and a writer, Under the Sitka Tree has value in being published. It offers the truth of man's necessity to evoke control over another. The impact, sends ripples of heartache onto the roots of generations to come, yet still contains a seed of release... that is forged in forgiveness.

***

A book does not complete itself. There are hands upon it, a keen outlook and insight upon every page. Much like a photograph slowly developing; a book takes time, patience and love, to bring it... to its full glory. ~TL Alton​ 

I have faced many struggles in keeping the dream of my book alive! All the while, knowing the polished/revised manuscript, has seen many hands upon it.

The image of my daughter and I making a 'pinky promise' has never left my mind and I included on my site, a part about "The Promise," her and I shared. 

NO where on my previous site was a place for credit cards or passwords needed to contact me. For I was sharing, a book with the world that was still being created, crafted and devoted to the memory of my late daughter, Shayla.

Many times, throughout the years, I have though of all of those writers who came before me, to pursue their goal of being published...but there is only one who resonates within. Karen Hill's book, Café Babanussa was completed and in print through the loving devotion of her brother, Canadian Author Lawrence Hill. I loved that he didn't need to put his name upon his sisters book, that her voice can be found on every page and her work is seen in such a radiating light. She also was the sister of musician Dan Hill. 

Karen who in the novel, (shares her own struggles with Bipolar in a fictionalized character), left us far too young, as she passed away at the age of 56. Even though her death was such an immeasurable loss, Karen left her gift to the literary world, by means of her novel. Through her words that were infused with love, her travels and life itself, this is a book that remains a symbol of hope. For these reasons and the fact that she spent two decades working on Café Babanussa, has always been a source of inspiration for me. That beyond the notes of my book that began in 2000, I will somehow find a way to finally be in print. 

In a way, Karen Hill has been a silent mentor. Much like a distant friend, who I imagine would understand my depression and anxiety. Her blunt mannerisms echo mine, while her perseverance is a strong reminder to never give up! 

Shayla believed in the possibilities of change~ that within ourselves we each have a higher purpose

When I look at the words from her journal- only days before her passing, I see it as her way of letting me know the book and my promise I made to her, is something I need to continue. That no matter how my faith is being tested and despite the enemy causing me more heartache, I must never give up. For in pursuing this dream; it really has never been about me~ but others who will benefit from its existence.   

Rest assured, as many of my friends have discovered, Under the Sitka Tree, has kept me awake and reminds me of the challenge... in needing to let go! Yet attend any grief support group and listen in...you will find many bereaved parents- whose angels have departed- but whose heartstrings have not. 

Placed at the Reservoir where my daughter lost her life  

I know the seed of Sitka, that was planted by my daughter and I, required patience, nurturing and love. However, it has taken many years, to fully understand the sole purpose of my novel. 

It was in reading the journey of another soul-writer, that I understood how the ink of my pen, could be held in the pen of another. 

Each time I hold onto Karen's book it reminds me of a journal, whose writer's voice haunts me in a way that evokes the beauty of her words- unrefined. When you read her novel, it isn't in some flowery form; for me it came across as genuine and natural. For Karen wrote from a place of truth; in disclosures of raw honesty that drew me in, as a person who shared the same disorder. 

Spending my day creating my new website, I persevered. Later, as I read my daily serving of ODB, there was peace:

"The power of God's Spirit that called us out of spiritual darkness into a relationship with Him, can also transform our work or areas of service ~ into testimonies of our faith."

For me, this translates into assurances that in spite of all my obstacles, I have a novel that is worthy of publication. I also believe in and pray over the local company, who I feel will print it.

Written two decades ago, things that have come to light from the depths of darkness, is a reminder of our deep connections to our sordid past. 

***

Throughout the years, there have many who gratefully supported me! In spite of all of the obstacles, their words of encouragement remain! I was excited to now have the opportunity to build something new, which reflects on my revisions, my research and my storyline.

I am deeply grateful to those who have read my years of blogging, supporting me in my quest and believed in my dream! The individuals who stand by the core of my original website I created; in hopes of me being published, after all this time!

Although I have surpassed Margaret Mitchell's ten years, she took to write Gone With the Wind, each of us as writers, have come to understand the words...in time...and just what that means. That despite every obstacle that I have faced- I have not given up…even throughout a pandemic and much more!

The end of Sitka simply means there is no longer a website for me to connect, share and receive feedback on. I still have business cards. I also use to place two magnets, with my website's name on the back of my car, to bring people to “Under The Sitka Tree.” For when you believe in something connected to a sacred tree and your daughter's little pinky wrapped into yours, that promise I made is bound deeply to my faith. I was also blessed to make wonderful connections on my contact page and hear from those who are interested in knowing more!

Thank you to those who took the time to read about a PROMISE on my former website…and what it still means to me.

In the end, just as it has always been with my book, God has chosen to write the next Chapter,  and that one is full of Sonshine. 

 

By TL Alton