A Day In My Shoes

It's been a minute since I called you

Just to hear the answerphone
Yeah, I know that you won't get this
But I'll leave a message so I'm not alone
This morning I woke up still dreaming
With memories playing through my head
You'll never know how much I miss you
The day that they took you, I wish it was me instead

But you once told me, "Don't give up! You can do it day by day"
And diamonds, they don't turn to dust or fade away

So I will keep you day and night, here until the day I die
I'll be living one life for the two of us
I will be the best of me, always keep you next to me
I'll be living one life for the two of us
Even when I'm on my own, I know I won't be alone
Tattooed on my heart are the words of your favourite song
I know you'll be looking down, swear I'm gonna make you proud
I'll be living one life for the two of us

I could feel your blood run through me
You're written in my DNA
Looking back in every mirror
I know you'll be waiting; I'll see you again…

So I will keep you day and night, here until the day I die
I'll be living one life for the two of us
I will be the best of me, always keep you next to me
I'll be living one life for the two of us
Even when I'm on my own, I know I won't be alone
Tattooed on my heart are the words of your favourite song
I know you'll be looking down, swear I'm gonna make you proud
I'll be living one life for the two of us

I promised you I'd do this
So all of this is all for you
Oh, I swear to God you're living
Through everything I'll ever do

So I will keep you day and night, here until the day I die
I'll be living one life for the two of us
I will be the best of me, always keep you next to me
I'll be living one life for the two of us
Even when I'm on my own, I know I won't be alone…
We'll end just like we started
Just you and me and no one else
I will hold you where my heart is
One life for the two of us…

Louis Tomlinson - Two of Us (Official Lyric Video)

https://youtu.be/jukhJtIhsik

Eights years ago, the only child I had, left this world.

Today, I spent my time honouring her 21 years of life, at various places in Kelowna, B.C.

Shayla with her giving, loving nature always had a heart for those in need. While in a local grocery store, her and I use to shop in, I picked up a beautiful bouquet of flowers. At the check out, I saw a poster about donating a bag of groceries for the local food bank and bought one in her memory.

Driving out to where her car crash occurred on December 12^th, 2011, there was reflecting on how that day changed my life forever. 

As I placed Gerbera daisies and tealights along the barricades, I noticed the amount of people still speeding along McKinley Road. As my tears fell upon the snow, I wondered if it made any difference of the ultimate sacrifice that road took in order to bring safety changes. After 11 vehicles had went by speeding, I stopped counting.

Walking along, up from the frozen waters of McKinley Reservoir, a vehicle stopped, and I recognized familiar faces. They offered condolences about the day and shared about Shayla. They wondered about a place in the area, where something was built to honour her, by someone who also loved my daughter. Each of us wondered if it remained. As we parted ways, I appreciated they had stopped to talk with me.

After, I drove along the very road my daughter last travelled all those years ago. I noticed a work truck with a crew, slowly driving behind me. When I pulled over at Shayler Road, they acknowledged me. I could sense they understood the need to both drive safely and respect a life that had been taken by the reservoir.

Carrying on, I drove several miles down the road. As my feet walked the path to Shayla’s memorial bench, the day was filled with a see saw of emotions. 

Taking a seat, I did several things that were between me and my babygirl in heaven. Before I left, I plugged in my music and listened to “Two of Us.” Soon the bench was covered in more of my sorrow.

Driving back into the city, I stopped at the Tree of Memories and placed several ornaments. This Christmas tree would be my only means of displaying them and I was grateful for the opportunity, to do so.

Unlike other blog posts, that are full of life sharing, I am being reserved and holding in all things that were sacred in taking part of.

Tomorrow, I awaken, with a stitched heart scarred by that day. However, when I look at myself in the mirror, I will see traces of my daughter, still within me.

Gone Too Soon ~ Scott Stapp

https://youtu.be/yEhCuWVxULY

by TL Alton