Dancing Among the Stars

 

“There has not ever been a time when I have been lacking the material for a post. For the threads of humankind , always find their way of weaving into my soul, their beautiful purpose.” ~ TL Alton

In all of my posts, I always feel my daughter’s birthday, the one where I take the time, to sort through quotes, pictures and memories connected to the day Shayla was born. For this special day, when she arrived into the world, saw precious moments unfold… over the next 21 years of her life.

While everyday I miss her, the day Shayla Rae Dawn, came into this world at 10 pounds, 10 ounces and 2 feet long, the heavens parted and she was blessed with many things, I am sharing here.

The top image of Shayla, on my 2^nd wedding day. She was such a beautiful Flower girl. 

When I think back, I close my eyes and re-imagine it was her wedding day- to her one true love - long before 2011.

Shayla’s namesake was something that connected her to the world of the Fairies~  the Irish Gaelic version means  “fairy palace.”

One of her favourite places to go to, was at a park that had a Fairy forest. Many times we went there, whenever she came to visit.

Shayla also had a wonderful sense of humour. Whenever something made her laugh, her face grew rosy, and a deep laughter grew from the tip of her toes. If she posed, it was likely to be some funny expression or doing something that would make others burst into laughter.

Wearing funny nose glasses at a bus stop, a bus pulled up and the driver was in stitches over Shayla's 'disguise.'

At a Nature Park, Shayla got stuck in the turtle shell. 

I have recalled and written about a note I found, after she passed away.

It was in reference to a dessert that I would make annually for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I always assumed Shayla loved it, as she would often ask for seconds.

In discovering her note, I realized the reality as she had written:

Mom, remember that Bisquick pumpkin pie dessert you made us for the holidays…well, I would go in the backyard and bury the second helpings and I burned the recipe card so you wouldn’t make it again…so Nah, I didn’t like it, but didn’t want to hurt your feelings. 😊

The other passion in my daughter’s life…was dance!

Shayla spent seven years immersed in the world of dance and between her laughter and silliness, the girl was born to dance!

It brought me much joy when she would have her performances and I was able to see how she lit up the dance, with hip-hop, lyrical, jazz and even ballet.

While I have many DVD’s of her past recitals, I no longer have the means to play them and right now, I would love to see my daughter ‘in motion.’

February 24^th, would have been Shayla’s 32^nd birthday.

I miss seeing her blow out her candles, open her gifts and turn to me with the biggest smile .

While I was gathering things for this post, I was reminded of “Pink Shirt Day.” The annual awareness for showing support of those who have been bullied. Sadly, Shayla spent most of her years at the torment of those who caused her to devote an entire black covered journal. Reading her words of heartache, sorrow and anguish, I have a better, more painful understanding of what she endured…and still smiled.

Pink Shirt Day 2022 

The other day, I found a display in a store that also reminded me of my ‘pinky promise’ to my dearly missed daughter- the one linked to my novel.

I painted my own nails and thought about the perfect timing.

This past week, I read of another person’s passing, whose music, smile and lovely persona, was an inspiration to the world.

Her name was Jane Marczewski. She was a free-spirit, a talented singer and a beautiful soul who died at 31, from breast cancer.

Nightbirde

Gracing the stage of America’s Got Talent, people’s lives were deeply touched by her heartfelt journey, as she battled her cancer while still writing and preforming songs, with the name Nightbirde.

Her spiritual relationship, was something I also connected with.

Source: Instagram

Nightbirde wasn’t afraid to speak her mind and she had such a magnificent shine that saw her glow.

In sharing the song she penned, “It’s Okay,” I feel as if she had met my heart full of love.

Golden Buzzer: Nightbirde's Original Song Makes Simon Cowell Emotional - America's Got Talent 2021

https://youtu.be/CZJvBfoHDk0

 Tomorrow, I have special plans. Turns out the temporary shelter I am at, is having their annual inspection. I need to be gone from 10am- 5pm. I have thought about where it is I will go or what I should do?

Then some place which holds special memories. While its not a place of fairies ( I don’t think so), it has wonderful qualities of another place, where (Tonya) mother and daughter,(Shayla) use to stroll.  

Every year, since Shayla passed, I have still bought a birthday card- one that I would have given her. I fill it with my personal sentiments, then place it at amazing locations throughout our world. 

A kind of release that helps a little... on a rather emotional day. 

This February 24th will be no different. 

Although it will be a quiet day- without the celebration of 32 years- I can look back and treasure what we were able to share… in such a short amount of time.

I think back to years ago when I was in Maui. I was brought to the perfect location, in the Pacific ocean, to spread my daughter’s ashes.

Tomorrow, I will reconnect with another special spot, where memories have been made.

The one where I told my daughter, she would always have my heart as her mother. As I kneel by the water’s edge, I will close my eyes. Once again, I will imagine Nightbirde’s angelic voice singing It’s Okay, while Shayla’s performing, a lyrical dance and I will think of those within our family , who have passed away- aunties, uncles, mothers and fathers, grandparents, friends and also my nephew, Matthew.

Everyone will be shining their beautiful smiles, as Matt's stardust, along with theirs, is cast across the heavens…for ALL to see them dancing ... among the stars. 

 

By TL Alton