Standing on the grassy pathway, I was swathed in an endless
array of shimmers; a tapestry of crimson, blended in with hues of gold and
silver, rose coloured and emerald sparks of light.
A stark contrast from sorrow, tears and heartache that had
accompanied me to LUMAGICA in Surrey.
It was by chance I discovered this extraordinary event and was gifted by the Organizers and Staff of LUMAGICA with a complimentary ticket, free parking and food voucher! From the beginning, Caroline handled everything with compassion.
The generosity of MK Illumination Canada (Anne- Marie and Alex), was such a blessing- on what is the most difficult day of the year for me- December 12th
This year, 2021- marks the 10 years of my daughter’s untimely, tragic
death. Yet instead of hovering over that day, I am going to take a few words of insight from a young man I met at the event who said:
“If I live in the past- there is regret…”
Therefore, this post is about the streaming light that
pierced my darkness and wrapped me in its glorious brilliance!
Arriving at LUMAGICA in Surrey, BC, I was welcomed by the brightest lights, multitude of colours and the friendliest staff!
All Covid Protocols were in place- from checking individuals
to ensure proof of double Vaccines, to a one way enter and exit system, along
with a tapering of people on the pathways; all staff worked hard to ensure a
smooth journey, along the way!
In speaking with Site Director Guy Ciprian, he took the time
to speak with me and let me share more about Shayla. He guided me and directed
me to the pathways. In a gesture of kindness, after I shared how far of a drive
I had back to my car camping spot in North Vancouver, he offered me to stay
parked in the outside lot, which had security and two portaloos. As I was
emotionally drained and tired, I appreciated his empathy to my situation.
Later, I was able to find a safe place to be and sleep in my car.
Reflecting on my amazing experience of shimmering lights, constructed in an array of exceptional design, I watched in awe as others interacted with the illuminated displays. A little girl, walked up to a teddy bear, took her mitten off, and shook the paw.
This had all of us smile and emit a collective sigh of awe’s. Couples were snuggling together in the opening of a twinkling heart and an older couple stole a kiss, underneath a tree that was aglow with shine!
All along, Shayla was on my mind and a quote came to mind…
The thing about moments is that you’ll miss them if your
always running after the next one. ~ Alec Lightwood
So, as I scanned every display created out of passion and amazing
concepts of all things Christmas, I was treated with the memories of when
Shayla use to come and visit during the holidays. She would burst through the
door, with such a fervour that would make some Santa’s envious and declare that
the festivities could begin…now that she had brought the party! It was here the
laughter would begin, as she started to burst into dance and shout out a
boisterous “WOOT-WOOT!”
Shayla taught me that there is no such thing as normal-
what is it that actually defines being okay?
During her visits, one of our cherished things to do, was to
go see the festive, dazzling displays at VanDusen Festival of Lights. In
speaking with Guy, he shared the special connection:
The same company that did the spectacular lights at
VanDusen Botanical Gardens, was the very same for LUMAGICA.
This made my heart light up, as it was comforting to know
the incredible link of the two.
I remember how when we were out, if there was someone in
need, Shayla would take out her own change and gift a stranger, some kindness.
I had raised my daughter, to always walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, even if you were standing alone in the crowd. I taught her the value of the truth, and never do you leave the world bitter because of your experiences- but thankful for the moments that you can SHINE!
In looking back on these past 2 weeks of displacement, I
have met many kindred souls.
Last night, at LUMAGICA in Surrey, it was more than having a
brilliant light experience. It was to arrive raw, exposed and fragile to
others. While I brought my grief, they poured out countless moments of
benevolence.
In the circumstances I am now finding myself in again, I am
choosing to stand up for the truth, even when ‘doing the right thing,’ sometimes
doesn’t feel like it….because often I’ve found myself alone in this journey.
Misjudged and misunderstood.
Yet with my daughter, it was different…she saw the
marginalized, those oppressed and silenced, then came alongside them and said:
“I see you.”
This happened a lot last night at the event I attended. From
several young ladies who served me, Kira, Jaclyn and Jelayne. When I was eating
my wonderful meal (pictured), one of these ladies (who is a Paramedic), came over to my
table and later generously shared some of her bagged packed lunch with me- to take back to my car!
Another patron I spoke with, had a lovely conversation with me and offered to buy me something- which I declined. I explained the generosity of the vendor coupon from LUMAGICA and the remembrance of the day. To have a conversation, when I spend my entire day and nights alone, was such a beautiful gift.
There was also a young man singer/songwriter Clay Scott, who was
performing and singing songs. His beautiful voice filled the space with harmony. We had a heartfelt conversation and I had shared
about Shayla’s love of music. I requested any song and gave him a few of my
daughter’s favourite musicians. As a sat back down and he performed Tom Petty’s
“Free Falling,” he never could have know that particular song was Shayla’s
absolute favourite!
Afterwards, he came up to me and we spoke some more. I had shared about my book, “Under the Sitka Tree, “ with many, including Clay. He had said he wanted to purchase my novel (which meant so very much to me), but also he had a ‘gifting’ for me. Clay then tucked some bills under the cover of my Sitka book, sitting beside me. He said, “This is part of my tips, I want you to have! Please go and buy yourself some meals.”
Later, as I sorted out the passenger seat of my car, to
sleep in…I thought about the value of light, the beauty of remembrance and the
depths of compassion. I cherished the stories I had collected within my heart
and those who bravely shared they too had been displaced- at one point of their
lives.
All of what I experienced reminds me…
WE are Not defined by a lack of what we leave behind;
rather we are remembered for what we stood for!
Thank you for the joy, brought to my life on my darkest day!
In reflecting on the 10th Anniversary of my daughter’s passing, I was able to embrace the SHINE that was shared by all individuals and the magnificent, illuminated creations! With everything I was blessed with, I am humbled and full of gratitude. For the real gifting of this season unto me…saw a mother’s mourning let in the cracks of light.
By TL Alton
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